Tonight, Eric and I are sitting in our new apartment, watching King Kong and drinking beers. We walked to our neighborhood store not four blocks from our new building, bought a twelve-pack of local beer, dropped our laundry in the machines and put in the movie. I commented to Eric that this is my favorite night so far - not inundated with packing, not wandering around unfamiliar (though sickeningly cool) bars, not falling asleep exhausted with paint in our fingernails - no. This night is about living a life we have wanted, a familiar, warm life. It's comforting to do the mundane, like laundry and beer. It reminds me of what I think I knew all along about this move. I don't feel transformed, or anything even close to that. We are still the same people we used to be. We are just in a different place.
This comfort definitely came with a price. First of all, we paid the price of our apartment. Originally we had hoped to wait about a month before looking for a new place, but we got very excited when we actually arrived here. Since I was unemployed (banging out over 100 applications for teaching jobs with not so much as an email in return… more on that later), I fervently scoured Craigslist and apartments.com in search of an appropriate place. We learned some important lessons when we were searching. Here they are:
- Read the reviews
The very first place we saw, an awesome building just off Naito Parkway with a footbridge to the Pearl and nearly new apartments was impressive enough for us to submit our application on the spot. After reading reviews online, however, we found that almost everyone who had lived there hated it. When we continued our search at other buildings, the managers there confirmed the reviews. The building was notorious for unhappy residents.
- Drive, drive, drive
The places we ended up actually seeing in person were the ones we walked in to. Calling these managers was a joke - only one or two actually answered their phones. By driving to the locations, we got a much better idea of what we were checking out. Craigslist, though supremely wonderful and efficient, was not the most helpful for apartment hunting.
- Be open-minded
Originally, we wanted to live in Nob Hill, a very hip and busy area in Northwest Portland. Our initial drive-through, however, uncovered insane parking situations, overly busy streets and higher prices than we wanted to pay. By driving just a few blocks to the south, we found a really cool high-rise with a lower price tag and much better parking. In addition, we didn’t expect to get a place with a view, but we saw an apartment with a killer view and from then on, it became a priority. Just don’t sew yourself into anything from the get-go.
- Ask about utilities!
This seems like such an obvious bit of advice, but apartment buildings can be sheisty and totally varied in their approaches. Some included utilities with rent, some didn’t, some paid half - and often times, these differences were what set a place apart. Parking is something else to consider, especially in a big city. Some buildings charged 150 a month for a parking spot, and others were located in parts of the city where zoned parking was not available… all things that could make “rent” a lot more than what’s listed on the paper.
- Go with a feeling
We visited a lot of places that were in our price range, appropriately sized, and in a good location. The place we ended up with just felt right. There was no necessary logic to it, since it had the same specs as the other places. It just felt good.
We have also found much solace in decorating our new place. We’ve been crafty and impulsive, careful and extravagant. It made the new apartment feel homey, kind, and warm. We painted, brought in some new furniture, recovered the old, and unpacked quickly. All of these little things made the difference. We felt “at home” very quickly.
The comfort I speak of in our new place also comes with a price of freedom, or youth, or something along those lines. I look back on my early twenties and I see that they are telling the truth when they say you're "fearless" and that somehow you're sowing wild oats... It really makes sense in hindsight. Now, we aren’t worried about being wild, running around. We want some kind of stability, much of which we’ve found in this move. We have new fears, new responsibilities.
Speaking of responsibilities, I still don’t have a teaching job. I came here with the idea that within a month or so, I would have a job squared away. After applying over 100 times to jobs around the Portland metropolitan area, I was told not to follow up on any of these positions - that the hiring directors would forward on my application. I have gotten nary an email. This is not only frustrating, but disheartening and confusing. However, I am not one to sit idly by, so I am waiting tables at a restaurant in Lake Oswego until I can get a better job. It’s certainly not how I wanted things to go, but like I said in the apartment hunting tips - you have to have an open mind and be willing to change. I am willing to do what I need to do to survive.
Our relocation to Portland has been both trying and relaxing. There have been many times where I stared at the ceiling at night thinking, “Was this the right decision?” Then again, there have been twice as many nights where I stared out the window of my new apartment, out at the lights over Portland, thinking, “This is the best decision I’ve ever made.”
In my mass-email distribution of these installments, many people have shared their stories about their own relocations and youths. Here are a few samples of the responses I got:
“It's so amazing (and comforting) to see that there are other people in my life--especially women in their twenties--who are going through the same thing I am...waking up one morning and suddenly realizing I'm 'mature'? It's a trip. I'm in that transitional period where I'm having a hard time getting together with friends I’ve had for several years, because we're growing apart and have nothing in common anymore. When you no longer have anything in common with your friends, other than the fact that you've been friends for a decade or more...do you stay friends? Are shared experiences enough to hold it together? No idea. I'm losing the old friends and haven't found the new ones yet. Or at least I haven't recognized them as friends. I'm trying to figure out a way to make friends with couples. All of a sudden I can't wait to host dinner parties, combine annual incomes, have group garage sales with the neighbors and strategically negotiate how to use the bathroom sink at the same time as he does.” – Lauren
“My wife, Faythe, and I did that almost thirty years ago, moving to Fresno from the midwest and east where all our familiarity and comfort was centered. The one difference, we had a three month old son moving with us to Fresno. We, like you, had a place to move into for a few weeks until our house was ready although the friends we moved in with, who were new to us at the time, have been wonderful friends for the almost thirty years we've been here. Then about ten years after moving to Fresno, we moved to the People's Republic of China to teach English, this time with our two young sons and what an experience that was! That move necessitated packing everything up and putting it all in storage and renting our house to strangers and taking nothing with us except one suitcase each, but what a wonderful experience we were in for. I guess the point of my brief note is to say that there is the possibility of sobering fear in moving out of a place of comfort, but to do so provides opportunities for tremendous growth and exploration of new worlds that many people only dream of or see from the comfort of their family room on a 42 inch screen. We relive those experiences regularly and feel excited about the next opportunity we'll have for another move. We're about six years away from retirement and are now beginning the planning stage of that next chapter in our lives.” – Howard
“I really enjoyed hearing you describe how quickly you decided you wanted to travel together in life! Brian and I were the same way. We went on our first date during which time we discovered that I was planning a solo trip to visit Cambodia (the temple complex of Siem Reap to be exact), and that Brian had only just returned from a solo trip to the SAME PLACE. I know that it’s not on everyone’s top ten lists of places to visit, so I knew that I had someone special in my sights. That night he suggested that we go there together, which I thought was an excellent idea. By the end of the week we decided that we would go there on our honeymoon. Six months later we were there indeed on our honeymoon, and nearly eight years later – we hope to find a place to visit that would match its magic.” – Lisa
"You reminded me so much of our own move from VA to FL. After marrying in '77, we made our way to Melbourne in '79. Our Chevy van was loaded to the hilt and towed a U-Haul like yours while I followed behind Mike in his fully packed '73 Toyota Corolla (no A/C) with our two dogs and houseplants in the front seat next to me. Life was simple and easy." - Elizabeth
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about our amazing journey, and I hope that if you’re considering a relocation you’ll simply do it. Trust me, it’s worth it.
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